128 Spiritual Connection In Monogamy – Dating Advice With Single Smart Female





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this episode was brought to you by the secret society of adored women have you been tirelessly going on craptastic dates having craptastic results with men even spending a craptastic amount of time weeding through men guys and fretting over the one who won’t call you back or commit join us for our hush-hush group of like-minded successful badass single women from around the world turning the dating scene on its head and creating scandalously magical romantic experiences that you will cherish forever more but beware your love life and life will never be the same again meet us over at the secret society of adored women.com you are listening to singles smart female this is Jen and Jen letting it all hang out for your love life examining your dating experiences and answering your hot topic dating questions just you and us Jen squared no topic is off-limits and no filters involved we are here to help you do dating on your terms if you have a question you would like us to answer or would like to immediately upgrade your love life with our collection of classes and exclusive merchandise meet us over now at single smart female comm hey my single smart females it’s Jen 1 plus Jen – Jen squared just for you like that little rhyme ever super dorks times 2 squared yeah dark square yes now we have a listener question today correct indeed we do would you like to hear it I would I really would I would love to share it I am so excited to share with you the question that we received from miss lost in Nevada who happens to be 50 and I love that and we love the ladies that are writing us and our listenership we know a lot of our listeners are in their 50s in their 6 and not giving up on love and wanting amazing dating advice so ready I’m ready okay here we go jabroni okay hey Jen squared I love your podcast thank you for having amazing taste miss Austin Nevada yes indeed thank you I have been a faithful listeners since I initially binge listened to all the episodes on a road trip and shortly after began my man taraj dating it’s been great with a little winky kissy face I met an amazing man super smart sexy successful the whole package and let me just point out ditch this is one of her man tirage members but anyway side note and we have been getting closer since I really like him and it’s definitely been a challenge to keep the focus off of him solely we are both very intellectual people I’m a scientist he’s an engineer and have fabulous conversations about everything here’s the thing we had a very long conversation about monogamy versus polyamory he feels monogamy goes against nature we have talked about this in depth the stats are that it’s rare when a species is monogamous and 80 percent of people have multiple partners I am searching for a spiritual emotional and physical connection with one man and feel that adding others energy diminishes that relationship but when I google for articles about spiritual connection and monogamy all that comes up our polyamory responses WTF is this a new trend I have several friends that practice polyamory and I get it but it’s not for me what’s your take note I appreciate his honesty and believe him I also know he will eventually fall away from my dating circle because he’s not what I want with the SAP face she also says that she has been proposed to eight plus times and married divorced twice she’s now choosing men to date instead of them choosing her thank you gen squared okay first off I have to say ha ha ha I love you miss lost in Nevada but boy we’ve got some good stuff to talk about for sure this is one of my favorite topics ever let’s talk monogamy versus polyamory does the world have to exist in polyamory because science says we can’t be faithful to our you one other person seeing somebody else with me thank you for bringing the stats to us and I definitely honor that you are a scientist and very scientifically minded and this man is an engineer and he says that he only believes or he doesn’t feel like he doesn’t go yeah he goes against nature Bubba bla bla bla bla bla bla bla amen say this shit and they do the exact opposite absolutely exact opposite so these stats to me I know they’re skewed I know they don’t accurately represent what’s actually going on in society even in crap marriages there are a lot of people that are still very monogamous to each other Jen do you really think that 80% of people have multiple partners I kind of feel like I don’t know I feel that was this kind of a skewed stat so what are we talking are we talking multiple partners within what time frame are we talking or we yeah are we talking multiple are we talking married people versus non married well I don’t know we’d have to break that down but what I have seen is that men actually want to be more monogamous than women do and I’ve seen that time and time again I have a fantastic story for you though because this happened this year so in one of our programs we had a client who is a very successful psychologist and she was dating a man that she was very attracted to the sex was off the charts and she really liked him he treated her really well but he made the exact same statement it goes against nature I want to explore polyamory he was dating another woman bla bla bla we had multiple conversations about this topic so instead of telling you what all the conversations were and everything that happened I know when women as you step into our world of being adored women if you just keep honoring who you are really amazing things happen you want to know what happened Jen yes I do I actually know but I want to tell me anyway he came to her and told her you know what I can’t I can’t do it I can’t stop thinking about you all I want to do is be with you I am inspired by you I want to be exclusive to you he did not want to engage in any polyamorous relationships because he fell so hard for her and not by her telling him not that you were ever doing this miss Lawson Nevada but but not by her telling him that he needed to do that not by her giving him any ultimatums anything like that just by her honoring herself and having communication sweetspot communication with him from that place and engaging with him and continuing to engage in her man tirage here’s the kicker this is the piece that I love now I know this shit happens all the time we don’t talk about this a lot but this shit happens all the time and it’s amazing when you become an adored woman he actually told her because she said I’m not actually at this point when he told she told him the ice she said I’m not actually ready for an exclusive relationship he says I don’t care I want to be exclusive to you and I am okay if you you know for now want to continue to date other people I just want the opportunity to be with you yeah okay so I am paraphrasing a little bit but that’s that’s essentially the message that he gave her and what I want you ladies to hear is that it is okay to want a monogamous relationship no matter how much science men other women no matter how much the world is screaming no it’s not natural it’s very natural we’ve been doing it for my time plane is really off here has been since the beginning of time yes beginning time or since the beginning of it’s a beginning of human humankind okay we have been doing this and what we’re not acknowledging is how powerful a woman who really honors herself and honors what she desires and what she wants is and knows how to use that to engage with the rest of the world so we as a society as a female society are still spending a shit-ton of time focusing on men what they want what they need what they say all that stuff it doesn’t have to be that way it doesn’t have to be the way and in fact it is doing nothing for your love life marriages no fucking falling apart woman’s still studying the hell out of men trying to figure men out they think they think they know they they’re great at stereotyping men they haven’t figured out jack shit it’s not helping it’s not working lots of polyamorous relationships fall apart why because there’s a lot of emotional stuff that goes on there plus there’s a lot of desire just for exclusivity there are a lot of men who really love being in an exclusive with the relationship with a woman that he loves and adores and can’t fucking stop thinking about I help women step into that role just by being herself and tweaking certain interactions with men tweaking the way she approaches dating tweaking things but never fundamentally changing who she is this is so important by the way I’m not surprised you’ve been proposed to eight times but I am super fucking glad you’re now doing it on your terms choosing men to date instead of them choosing you that is awesome warms my heart gigantic warm fuzzy yes I couldn’t agree more in fact I’m I’m so happy that you’re doing it your way that is critical that is the crucial key to getting what you want romantically is to honor yourself pay attention to you what you want your terms and really telling them I appreciate your terms what your terms are but I have to do this on my terms in my way and when I’m ready yeah and now Jen let’s back up one second to your example let’s say that the Hadassah yeah back it up back it up let’s say that the gentleman in the scenario when she said I’m not ready to to be an exclusive relationship had he have said well I’m I can’t well then I can’t do this I have to walk away the response there is okay see hey see ya you know I appreciate getting to know you a little better and I know you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do right and how many times like time after time after time we have examples of guys saying I can’t handle it I have to walk away and what do they do they come back a lot of them do not all of them but a lot of the ones that don’t come back you don’t need to worry about it always because they have serious issues right but it is okay for you to want to be in a monogamous relationship and it’s also okay if you change your mind later on by the way absolutely we are women and we evolve and evolving we become a better version of what we want so continue to honor that so there’s no you know monogamy versus polyamory there’s no one is better it’s what’s really better for you that’s all that matters it’s a personal decision I’m monogamous kind of gap I am as well but I do fantasize about kissing other men sometimes actually super love don’t tell my husband that he’ll get he gets his feelings hurt in fact like I get to the point where I’m in an exclusive relationship I will miss kissing kissing is one of my favorite things in the world mm-hmm and I love kissing my husband as well so I do have almost made a joke like I love [Laughter] but I just really want to honor you miss Lawson Nevada for putting this question out here and I know that you’re a scientist and that you’re very logically minded but I love the fact that you have a spiritual side to you that you can press into and that’s really really important all of my ladies out there I don’t care what you believe in I just want you to believe in something much bigger than yourself and no that’s something much bigger than you if you call it God if you call it creator if you call it your goddess if you call you know have a specific God I don’t care what you call it I just want you to lean into it even if you don’t feel like anything else exists I want you to kind of question that a little bit because there are things that in life that cannot be explained by scientific fact there’s so much out there and there’s something really really big at play here and you can partake in and participate in it and and reap the rewards of it so why not why not explore it a little bit by the way what I meant to say is even if you need to call it your higher self that’s fine I don’t care just lean into it explore it ask for it to sing you some amazing things and amazing experiences cuz there’s a lot of great men out there and I’ve had so many and sinned saintly awesome things up in my life that there’s no way it could have happened without divine intervention what about you Jen oh absolutely incredible things that have happened with the vinery knowing that my what I’d call it God wants me to be happy wants me to have love wants me to have connection and and to have that deeper emotional spiritual connection it helps tremendously and I just want to point out too that I really love that you already know this is not for you and you’re honoring that I mean you’re you’re not pulling any punches here you know this isn’t for you and you know that or I want you to know I hope that you know that you knowing that honoring that about yourself is going to bring you closer to the one who is right for you mm-hmm the final note on all of this aside from the final thought a minute is that if if you want help exploring this if you want really true great guidance and a group of women that’s gonna support you and show and help show you all of you will work together plus you’ll have me and Jen to teach you exactly how to do this you can find that at the secret society of adored women dot-com and we would be absolutely honored if you would join us for our next live class okay you love a girl it’s time for the final thought on today’s show honor the type of relationship you want above what society science or even he says is reasonable reasonable expectations never lead to extraordinary romance this episode was brought to you by the secret society of adored of women have you been tirelessly going on craptastic dates having craptastic results of men even spending a craptastic amount of time reading through meth guys and fretting over the one who won’t call you back or commit join us for our hush-hush group of like-minded successful badass single women from around the world turning the dating scene on its head and creating scandalously magical romantic experiences that you will cherish forever more but beware your love life and life will never be the same again meet us over at the secret society of adored women and calm hey lover girl this is Jen again don’t forget to subscribe to the show in your favorite podcast app as well as share single smart female with all of your single smart girlfriends and if you would like to play around and learn more about man tirage dating come see me at single smart female com talk to you next time you

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