How to Get Everything You Want From Him

In this video, you will learn the secrets to getting the relationship you want from your man. So, if you’re dating a person but feel like he’s not meeting your needs and treating you the way you deserve to be treated, then this is the video for you.

I made this video to explain my secrets to getting what you want and need to be genuinely happy in your relationship. And, this approach works in all of these situations. What’s even better, this 3 step plan will help you get clarity about the things that are really important to you… as well as the things that aren’t that big of a deal and the ones you should compromise on.

I’m Dr Antonio Borrello, and I’m a psychologist and relationship coach. This channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy with the people you love. So, if you’re interested in dating advice and relationship advice that is focused on making your love life the best part of your life, start now by subscribing here.
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Are you interested in dating advice for women or advice on relationship problems? If so, you have found the dating coach for you. This channel is all about love tips, relationships and love, relationship problems and signs he likes you. Essentially, this channel is focused on love advice and helping you understand what men want.

I’m happy to answer subscriber dating and relationship questions anonymously. Email AntonioBorrello@icloud.com

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In this video, you will learn the secrets
to getting the relationship you want from your man. So, if you’re dating a person but feel like
he’s not meeting your needs and treating you the way you deserve to be treated, then
this is the video for you. Don’t go anywhere because we are starting
right now. hi everyone.. I’m dr Antonio Borrello and I’m a psychologist
and relationship coach. This channel is all about helping you build
great relationships so you can grow happy with the people you love. So, if you’re interested in making your
love life the best part of your life, start now by clicking the subscribe button and hit
the bell notification so you aren’t missing anything. OK.. on to the secrets to getting the relationship
you what from your man. Every day, women email me with questions like
these… How can I get him to text me or call me more? How can I get him to pay more attention to
me? How can I get him to love me like he did before? Or, they tell me something that bothers them
about their relationship and ask.. am I over reacting? Am I being too sensitive? What do you think? And generally speaking, these questions are
very similar.. they are addressing the same thing… a woman in a dating relationship
with a man, but for whatever reason, he is not meeting her expectations and needs in
the relationship, and she’s not being treated the way she deserves, despite her complaints
and frustrated attempts at getting him to change. basically, These emails are all asking the
same thing… how can I get the relationship I need from
him? So that’s why I decided to make this video..
to explain my secrets to getting what you want and need to be genuinely happy in your
relationship. And, this approach works in all of these situations. What’s even better, this 3 step plan will
help you get clarity about the things that are really important to you… as well as
the things that aren’t that big of a deal and the ones you should compromise on. So, break out your pen and notebook and let’s
jump right into it. the secret to getting what you want from your
relationship involves a three step process that I’m going to explain in detail. And to make it easier to understand, I’m
going share some examples of situations and we will go through the steps together. a few years ago I was working with a woman…
let’s call her Jenny. Jenny was a 27 year old college graduate..
who had been dating a 28 year old man named Jared. The couple had been “dating” for about
a year and jenny explained that they spent a lot of time together and they were intimate,
but Jared did not want to be in a relationship. Jenny felt like Jared was giving her mixed
messages because they spent so much time together and acted like a couple. But still, he refused to call her his girlfriend
or to be in an official relationship. When Jenny contacted me, her immediate complaint
was that Jared would make plans with her, but then he would blow her off and cancel
with her last minute when his friends wanted to go out. What she really wanted was a commitment from
Jared and for him to make her a priority. so keep this example in mind as I explain
the first step.. and that is.. to ask yourself this question. 1. Do You share relationship Values and goals. Having your relationship values and goals
in alignment means that you and your partner are on the same page, You both know what you
want, you are compatible, and you know what you wish to accomplish in the relationship. And, Both of you are firmly committed to achieving
these goals. And, knowing that you are on the same page
is the first the first step in the secret to getting what you want from him. Because if he is not on the same page, he
is certainly not going to meet your needs with any consistency. It doesn’t matter how much chemistry you
share… it doesn’t matter how attracted you are to one another.. and it doesn’t
matter how much fun you have together… A relationship is not going to work if both
partners don’t have similar visions of what their futures look like as well as the commitment
to achieving those goals together. And in the case of Jared and Jenny, they did
not want the same things. Jenny wanted a mature, exclusive and committed
relationship and although Jared liked Jenny and had fun with her, he did not want the
commitment or responsibilities of a relationship. And jared did feel remorseful and he recognized
that blowing jenny off was disrespectful and hurtful. But he still continued to do it. The problem here… their relationship values
and goals were different… and because Jenny wanted him so badly, she refused to accept
what jared told in favor of what she wanted to believe. She wanted a relationship with a man who told
her and showed her that he was not relationship material. And as long as their relationship values and
goals were totally different, Jared would never be able to give her what she wanted
in a relationship. And if you are in a relationship with a person
who does not share those same values, goals and qualities, getting your needs met consistently
is not going to happen. So, step one is to make a list of your core
relationship values and qualities that are important to you.. and to make it easier,
I’m going to share the qualities of a partner that are important to look into.. because
being incompatible on too many of these values makes a lasting relationship much more difficult. The areas to include are—relationship goals,
ideas surrounding money, your ambitions, the importance and involvement of family,
how you both express emotions, whether or not you want children,
The role of religion in your life and how you relax.. For each of the values and qualities I just
listed, write down and describe your values on one side of a page and write down his on
the other. So, for example, you are going to write “beliefs
about money”.. perhaps you are an extreme spender and he is an extreme saver,
give an example of your differences and how that might effect you in the future. Because think about it… you’re eventually
going to run into problems because of these incompatible values. If you love going on nice dinners, or vacations,
and your partner is focused on saving every penny.. you have incompatible values.. and
one of you is always going to feel like you’re compromising or not getting your needs met. And if the two of you are totally different
on many of these important values.. the likelihood of you being happy in this relationship long
term is really low.. so, perhaps it’s time to rethink the relationship. Now, let’s say that you comprised your list
and you see that the two of you are very compatible and share the same values, goals and qualities..
but you’re not getting the relationship you want or need from him.. well.. then go to the second step of getting
what you need from your relationship and that is to ask yourself this question. 2. Are Your Expectations Reasonable
If you are in a relationship, of course you are going to have expectations of your partner. For example, You’re going to expect honesty,
loyalty, support, love, friendship, and companionship, right…., those are the essentials. but sometimes, we hold on to unrealistic expectations
that are nearly impossible to meet. In other words, you have expectations that
require your partner to be “nearly perfect” and possess all of these qualities all of
the time. But We all make mistakes, I mean everyone
is human and none of us is perfect. So, when we are not getting some need met,
we have to ask ourselves if our expectation is too high? Are we being reasonable in expecting this
from our partner. For example.. when a couple gets into an argument…
perhaps it’s a serious argument that leads them to not talking for a few days… or maybe
they even take a break.. after a few days passes, one or both partners might realize
that what they were disagreeing with their partner about was an unreasonable expectation. In other words, it wasn’t that big of a
deal and perhaps they should have given their partner a pass. Now, what do I mean by a pass.. well, keep watching because this is an important
example. A few years ago, I was working with a woman
who was frustrated and unhappy because she felt like her boyfriend had changed… and
that he was taking her for granted.. and in many ways, he was.. But overall, he was a great guy.. yes, they
had a few challenges to overcome and they did.. in fact, they are now happily married
and have a baby on the way.. but when we started working together, one of her complaints was
that he liked playing video games online with his friends for about an hour 2-3 times a
week. She thought it was immature and that he should
use his time doing something more productive. She resented the fact that he played games
with his friends instead of spending that “recreation time” with her. But in almost every other area.. they were
very compatible and had a solid relationship. What she didn’t understand was that after
a long day at work, it provided him with a much needed stress release as well as an opportunity
to bond with his friends. Now, if he spent 5-6 hours a day playing video
games instead of taking care of his other responsibilities, then it would have been
a problem. The point is… sometimes we have to take
a step back and think about our expectations.. understand our partner’s point of view and
change our perspective and expectations because it really isn’t a big deal. Now, having said that, we must know what our
deal breakers are… Deal-breakers are specific, individual issues
or characteristics of a potential partner that one cannot overlook despite the other
redeeming qualities the individual may possess. So, for example, physical abuse should be
a deal breaker for everyone… if it happens, the relationship needs to be over, regardless
of any other qualities your partner has. The deal-breaker is the primary reason for
not continuing the relationship. So, when it comes to getting what you need
from a partner, you must also ask yourself if your expectations are reasonable and not
extreme. And if you know that you are both on the same
page with regard to relationship values and goals, and your expectations are reasonable. then go on to the third step. Now.. the third step is how you get what you
want from the relationship and that is 3. by Keeping Your Standards High Remember, it’s Your values and your expectations
that sets the bar for your relationship… it sets your standards of what you expect. And, where you set your own bar determines
how anyone else is going to treat you. the way we love and value ourselves sets up
the way in which we let other people love and value us… or mistreat us. The problem that so many people have…. When they meet someone they really like, they
are often willing to compromise their standards in the early stages of dating. And when you do that, you are setting low
parameters for him. So, like the example I gave you last week. you really like a man and you’re excited
about him. He invites you on a date for a Saturday night..
and the same day he texts you to confirm that you are meeting at a particular restaurant
at 7 PM.. So, you show up at the restaurant at 6:57
and he is nowhere to be found.. in fact, he doesn’t show up until 718 and did not take
a moment to let you know he was running late… and when he arrives, he makes no mention of
the fact that he is late…. So, how do you feel given this situation…
he shows up almost 20 minutes late and doesn’t’ take the time to text you and let you know. Are you upset or frustrated… do you say
something to him? Do you compromise your standards here because
you really like him and you’re afraid to cause any friction… I mean you want him to like you and you worry
about sounding disagreeable or demanding for fear of losing him, right? look, I know it can be difficult to keep your
standards high when you really like a person…. It’s like everything goes out the window,
right?. But when you compromise your standards, you
are always going to get less that you need and less than you deserve. You are setting the bar low, your setting
the parameters low, and you’re letting him know it’s ok to treat you that way. And even worse, compromising your values also
increases the possibility of entering into unhealthy relationships or situations. And let me tell you why.. because when you
compromise your standards, you’re simply pushing the conflict and the problem further
into the future. You’re ignoring the red flags because you
want to be wanted so badly and you continue to accept less than you deserve.. So, if a man isnt’ meeting your standards,
if a man isn’t treating you right… if a man isn’t meeting your needs, arguing
with him, complaining to him, or pleading with him is not going to bring him to change… that’s just not going to work. IF a man isn’t meeting your standards and
meeting your needs, you need to be walking away.. When he knows that you aren’t willing to
settle, that you aren’t going to tolerate behaviors or actions of his that you don’t
agree with, or that don’t meet your standards, he is going to respect you and step up to
the challenge and meet your standards. He is going to appreciate your self respect…
and your value in his eyes goes way up. But He will only experience this if he knows
you are willing and able to walk away from something that isn’t right for YOU. So again, the secret to getting what you want
from your relationship depends on three things.. 1. knowing that you share similar values and
goals, 2. having realistic expectations, and 3 setting
and not compromising your values and standards because you’re afraid of losing someone. Because if you do, you will never get what
you want or deserve from your relationship. If you like this topic, I can go into it in
more detail in a future video. So.. in the comment section.. please share
your thoughts and your ideas about the videos you’d like me to make.. and Click here to
the video youtube thinks you will like and click here to subscribe and learn how to bulid
a great relationship so you can grow happy together… Ill see you in the next video.

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