Marriage and Relationship Advice by Munroe Myles

It is imperative to go well with what you don’t know. The standing of your mind, heart and draftiness of your ego rages against what would be the best of you. I would recommend you listen to this one here as a family

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[Music] maybe 96% of the men in this room never heard their father say to them you make me proud you done well men we are in such dire straits only God could help us stay with me not because your father is in the house doesn’t mean he’s fathering you this statement is still not understood properly by women or by men the average man in this country and in my country and in the whole Western world is struggling with his true manhood he doesn’t know what it is to be a man about 40 years ago it was very easy to be a man 60 years ago it was automatic to be a man because the rules are very clear he goes to work you keep the house you have the babies he buy the food and that’s why your grandmother didn’t ever divorce there was no divorces back then because the rules are very clear everyone knew where their place was the man traces out working woman’s was home keeping home and then the man bought the home the woman cleaned it and kept it the man bought the food woman cooked it and served it was very simple matter of fact most women and men at that time didn’t have a problem with one another because there was no competition and no contention it was so tough to survive 60 years ago and everybody had to keep their rules Claire it was simple to be married and to love when the matter-of-fact yo your grandmother and grandfather did not really express love the way you express love today because they don’t have no they don’t have no time to do it he was busy he is busy working 10 12 hours a day by time he came all he wanted was food sex in bed and you know the woman back then didn’t complain why she understood he worked all day he would tie it she had his food ready she paedon had sex when two birdies happy next money goes back out in the forest on the jungle of life and worked for her and take care of kids and so she actually respected him because he did that he worked hard and she she was respected by him because he knew she took care of the kids in the home and and everything so they respected one that there was a high respect for each other their love was based on their roles they she loved him because he worked so hard to keep the family together there was this ritual respect and then something happened World War two came World War two changed the world in ways we have not calculated yet hundreds of thousands of men in America went to Europe to fight the men used to work in the factories but now when the men are gone the women were asked to make bullets and to instead of you know sewing there to learn to make tanks and if you study the history of America that’s when women began to leave the home to God and work for the war machinery so the men are in the battlefield they left home the women now have to go and make the bullets for the men to use in the guns after the war was finished 1945 the men come back home and there’s no one home whereas she she’s in the factory gets a job that used to be his job so now he comes back with two problems one the homes empty and she has this job problem she’s now earning revenue so now we got three problems because he used to provide everything that’s why she respected him now she’s making more than he’s making so the the respect has dropped thirdly they used to need each other that’s why your grandmother and grandfather never got a divorce they needed each other matter of fact that she didn’t mentioned leaving his question would have been where you going she had no money she had no support that’s why she stayed that’s why many times you know 60 years ago a woman may be abused by a man but never leave she had nowhere to go there was no other support so she stayed she made the marriage where he made the marriage work but now we got a new equation because women are working now we got men displaced and they’re not sure what to do and you know back then a man’s man who was measured by simple things like he builds the house for her he earns the food he brings home the bacon he paced the utilities he takes you of the kids as far as their maintenance and he protects the family and it was clear that’s what a man does she was very clear where she did what she kept the house clean she kept the kids in order she cooked the food and she took the money and distributed properly but now here comes a new equation he comes home and today is still being felt he doesn’t know what it is to be a man anymore I mean women and it’s not your fault please don’t think is your fault it would happen to our social structure so now we have men today’s since World War two don’t know how to be a man now your grandfather told you or you want to be a man put your foot down in your house yeah answer it’s not my house so he’s frustrated so what does he do the only thing that he has left is his strength so the result is domestic abuse and that’s why domestic violence is so high because we got a male in crisis who is frustrated at misunderstanding with manhood means because he you see in the past womanhood and manhood was measured by the roles that they play but now the roles are gone 40 years ago the man bought him the bacon today the woman owns two pig am i right what do you do when yo when the woman makes more money than you men fall apart they don’t know to do with that they don’t know well how am I supposed to feel like a man if you make more money than me see and he feels this this crisis inside now let me tell you what’s happening to the male here’s a verse you never saw before guarantee it’s found in Psalm 62 it talks about exactly what’s happening to the male right now in your country some sixty two talks about how we are treated as males here’s what it says in verse three how long will you assault a man with all of you throw him down this leaning wall this tottering fence that’s what they doing to us we already leaning and they’re pushing us you could never do anything right they say you’re just like your papa they say you could never succeed in anything you are a loser you can’t even keep your children you can’t take you of your wife you can’t keep a job they keep pushing look at how long will you assault a man society’s assaulting us David says they fully intend to topple him from his lofty place talking about man they take delight in lies the lie on us they lie with the amounts and they bless in their hearts they crushed us it’s talking about what they do them in listen to this he says but fine rest on my soul david says even though they try to destroy me as a male i find my rest o my soul in god alone my hope comes from him are you listening to me he alone is my rock and my salvation and he is my fortress I will not be shaken so here’s what I call the male’s mind today most of you could relate to this list men don’t feel the power of self-confidence anymore they don’t feel the power of social roles anymore men don’t feel the power of their masculinity anymore that’s why many of them not sure whether they are men many men don’t feel like they wanted by women anymore how many women have you met who said to you I don’t need your car I don’t need your money I don’t need your house I don’t need nothing from you I got everything myself and some of you married women that I’m making you feel like dirt because when you met her she had babies on house already and then she puts pressure on you by saying why don’t you be a man well you don’t know it to be a man you know what that means anymore because when your father was a man was easy so do I buy a house she got a house do I buy a car she got to do I give her children she came in three of them already do I buy groceries she owns refrigerator should I give him money she brought him the pig not just the bacon she making more than me so now the guy is stuck so one might want you to be a man now in this house your problem is you don’t feel wanted anymore how many times have woman threatened you you don’t know what I say you can get out this is my house you remember the days and your father is a man he’s a sadist my house my night I read a Placidus house she read branch two now so what you mean you had a pleasant tough to be a man man don’t feel needed anymore of course she doesn’t need you how sorry is higher than yours she owns the condominium the car you driving is my car the TV you watching his hot TV and the food in frigerator is not food and the fridge I can tell you to be a man that’s why a lot of men don’t know what to do they don’t feel appreciated they don’t feel respected they don’t feel secure that’s why many men act like women they are feminized because they are threatened by the woman because you see the problem is the woman don’t know what she’s doing to you she needs help – because she’s destroying your masculinity another concern that I’ve concluded is this one statement dad is destiny they were doing a main article in Newsweek magazine during the period of father Father’s Day they did a research on fathers based on all of their research they concluded that dad is destiny and what they meant was so go the men so go the nation they found out that 92% of all problems in society is related to the absence of a male in the family whether it’s boys with guns or girls with babies dropouts of school prisons filled with young men all related they say to the absence of a father in the house the secular world therefore agrees with God finally if you read what God’s conclusion of humanity’s problem is it may shock you but in the last chapter of Malachi the last three verses God concludes what man needs yes he says in Malachi he will come and even return the hearts of the children back not to the mothers but to the fathers and the fathers back to the children otherwise he says I will curse the land which means whenever a society is crumbling and seeming is under curse God says it’s because the fathers are absent after you read that statement in Malachi you’ll find a blank page in your Bible you check there’s a blank page that blank page is 400 years of silence God said nothing for 400 years and then suddenly a man appears in the wilderness Matthew – and it’s John the Baptist and Jonah Barth introduces this great Messiah who came to return the hearts of the father’s back to the children and the children back to the father’s here’s what’s interesting and mysterious to me Jesus when he came to solve man’s problem never chose a woman as a disciple why he came to fix and he had to follow a blueprint and the blueprint didn’t call for women he had the deed with the original blueprint to fix humanity so he knew he had to deal with what the blueprint called for and it called for the male’s to be fixed first the Bible says he chose 12 but the women followed is a very important scenario here men you gotta go get men for women they just shortly ready shocked women just show up that’s not Church they said but man they playing sports they out in the clubs they drinking liquor they smoking dope they in jail you gotta go get them that’s why churches are filled with women he was dealing with healing humanity here’s the other problem I call it the male crisis the men have lost their sense of purpose that’s why they bunks from job to job to job they don’t know what their career is they don’t know their vocation is anymore they kind of move around just kind of bounce around them no sense of purpose number two they lost their identity that’s why they pretend to be other people sometimes men pretend to be women they have no identity thirdly men lost the definition of manhood they don’t know what it is they also lost their value to life they lost their meaning in their lives they have no reason to live most men lost their role they don’t know what it is to be a man in society or in the home they lost this sense of significance they feel that they are not important to the world anymore and the average man that’s why he drinks and is in gangs and he kills and he shoots and he domestically violate his family because he is a man who has no sense of value he has no vision he lost his sense of importance he also lost his sense of authority how many men are afraid to lift their voice in their own house the children that live in your house in yours so what do you do with them and they curse you back they tell you you’re not my daddy I mean this is this is frightening to some man that’s why I love you man I know you quiet in here we gonna deal with this stuff you go room to her children you’ve been married for five years and the kids call you by your first name no authority and you can’t correct them when they curse and do foolishness you can even correct them there’s no authority in the house but you feel like a slave like a dog that’s what men are dealing with today but they are in this room men lost this sense of respect no one respects the male fleet more so he doesn’t respect himself either and then men also lost what I call their own manhood they lost a manhood this is why they try to define manhood in very difficult ways now let me tell you the result of all of this crisis the result is this very important list first of all the challenge is that is that the male is struggling with his purpose he doesn’t know why a male was created he also is struggling with his manhood he doesn’t know what it is to be a man and he also doesn’t know what it is to have authority he’s trying to regain Authority by force or by abuse men are also struggling with the self-image they not sure how to be a man so they imitate other men who are not worthy of imitation they trying to find the image and then then also trying to live with a woman in the 21st century it’s almost impossible living a woman a 21st century because she doesn’t need nothing from you you buy a woman a gift she said that’s cheap and then break your heart you can’t buy a car she’s got two of them you can’t buy her clothing she got a closet full when you met her so men are struggling with how to live with a woman who has everything challenging and then you meet a woman who has her own household car refrigerator food clothes and everything else and you move into the house after you get married and in your house so there’s that fear that stays with you all doing them years you afraid to conflict with her you afraid to a challenge that because she might put you out because if we’re gonna fix the men we got a place understand their problem now what’s the result of all of this confusion for the male first of all the man lost his self-image secondly he lost his self-concept the picture of what a man supposed to be like he also lost his self-confidence that’s why most men a very dim very shy and very angry on mixed up in morning they also lost their self-worth they don’t feel valuable anymore you know what made my father feel valuable when my mother told him thank you for bringing home food thank you for coming to roof over our heads thank you for providing for the kids that made them feel valuable but you don’t hear that no more today because the kids under root hours so you’re struggling to feel important to your wife you also lost our sense of self-esteem what makes us feel significant you begin to hate ourselves we lost ourselves love and therefore we lost our conviction most men I meet have no conviction in life they just want to kind of pay a bill and die there’s no sense of assignment no sense of purpose no sense of living for a reason no conviction that’s why they sleep around no conviction how babies all over the city no conviction this resulted in the condition that we’re dealing with I call it the male condition the average man is confused why he confused with everything he don’t know who he is why he is where he is what he is and why he’s going everybody’s going he doesn’t either understand a women don’t understand what women wore do understand what society wants from him so he’s confused and therefore he’s also angry you won’t admit that but I know that’s true and your anger is deeply concealed I guarantee you that all the men in prison are angry man all listen I’ve done interviews with these men everyone was angry and 90% it was angry at their father who they never met oh they never saw who was never there who they couldn’t talk to they were angry and their anger comes out in frustration and the frustration comes out in self hatred and the subjective manifest and depression and most when I depressed and they quietly carry their anger we have get rid of that anger domestic violence comes from resentment that results in social abandonment that’s when men give up on society there’s no hope there used to be going to school look at ego trying to get a good job no use to me advance myself they just abandon themselves to society and so I’m not getting involved in the rat race they say they give up so we got gangs all over the city we got all kinds of social clubs we got all kinds of fraternities all these different things we try to cuz we’ve given up and the last thing is that men manifest this hatred in domestic abdication abdication means he decides to leave the home can’t take it anymore I’m out of here that’s why I divorce rates are so high infidelity is so high abandoning kids are so high spreading your sperm around the city so high why yes abandon society domestic abandon my lady I’m outta your mother yet woman I’m gone because the man is suffering that whole list let me tell you something even get to save doesn’t solve this problem I know a preacher’s will beat their wives for the Holy Ghost I know people Cresta their children mad because otherwise snap them and then preach the next morning because they never dealt with the the real issue manhood in order for the male to get help he has to respond correctly here’s what I am recommending and I’m happy to secret I think you’re responding correctly one for the male to have solutions his problems he must first recognize he need help and that’s tough for male to admit secondly he must accept the need for help and thirdly he must admit that he doesn’t know some things we think we know everything you know what to tell me that not go to no seminar I’m a man I go to a conference I know the man is you don’t know the man is you can’t even sleep with your own wife you gotta admit you don’t know some things I read four books a month that’s a tough thing to do reason why I read so much is because I don’t want to be stupid I got a family a wife and kids that I have to leave I have companies that have delete I have one the largest churches in my country to leave I got a government I got seventeen countries number to me fried rice presence of Primus looked me the advice I got a when was the last time you read a book and finish it no I don’t read do you think you’d know everything already that’s your problem you gotta admit that you don’t know and number four we must seek the help of successful men we go to the wrong men to get help here’s a guy who been divorced five times and you go to him for advice that’s stupid man I’m talking with your brother yeah I’m in your blood brother he can’t even say marry don’t listen to him he told me the man who never had a business and want a business from them seek successful men and then submit to them and number five commit yourself to pursue knowledge men I challenge you to decide from this night forward that you’re gonna turn your home into a library you have to do this brother no one can learn for you know what commit that you’re gonna change after this night you’re going to become a pursuer of knowledge as a man that going to you pass this to come any passes don’t even read a book including the Bible they only read the Bible for sermons you gotta push your knowledge number six write this down invest in your own education listen man it costs money to buy books and CDs your pass to get a bunch of CDs in that in that store back there and you never go there and get a CD from five years ago what you think you know everything invest the value and the cost of ignorance is always higher than knowledge Barba’s all you’re getting understanding and then it says because you all you have get understanding bummer is for over seven you got a choice it in a book on a box of chicken after this meeting you have to invest in your own development and number seven except your weakness man if you’re going to become real man first you gotta be honest your self where you are weak I don’t know everything I got a problem in this area I got a habit that’s killing me I have a weakness for women I got a weakness for drugs I got a weakness for liquor that was the August first stop pretending hallelujah praise the Lord you okay and then secret pornography is heating you up because I can help you unless you French tell me you need it Jesus never volunteer a miracle never every miracle he performed with result of a question what can I do for you is it he meant a blind man one time he said what can I do for you I mean come on it’s about the obvious no innate obvious because the blind man made his money by his blindness you gotta accept that you need help I made when you identify your weaknesses magnify your strengths every man in here got some strong things in his life that are very good and that’s what we got to bring out of you this week you are a good man believe me you’ve done some bad things but you are a good man and we got to go after the good man inside of you do you know why every man in here love comic books me tell you why you love comic books all of us are two men in this room that’s why you love those characters they are free they are you everybody got a Superman and a Clark Kent and you never want us to see cloud you know what’s amazing is when your wife discovers Bruce my god I discovered something if you tell your wife about Clark she will have a greater respect for Superman I remember the day when I decided to tell my wife about Bruce Banner we were early in our marriage you know and I told her look let me tell you a part of me that you need to know and I need you to help me strengthen and get rid of that person and when I shared it my wife she hugged me she said nothing a woman wants more from a man that honesty no she said she said you just made me love you more from that day my wife has been the solution to my weakness she protects that area of my life all those years until it’s down to zero she’s made me Superman every day I want to read a verse to you that you probably never saw before also I call it a call to men David was a great father his son was Solomon David was a great King a great politician he’s also a musician a songwriter very multi-talented guy David is on his deathbed about to die I wanted to read what David says to his son it says in the book of first Kings chapter 2 verse 1 when the time drew near for David to die he gave a charge to his son so now watch a father talk to him a son cool I am about to go the way of all the earth he said so be strong and show yourself a man now that’s a good statement from a daddy pouring a powerful in it what a good word for a father to say to a son son about to die show yourself a man show yourself a man he says first of all observing the Lord your God requires secondly walk in his ways thirdly his decrees and his commands what Lee says keep his laws and requirements that are written in the book then he says so that you may prosper in all you do and whenever you ever you go son you’re gonna be okay and you keep them along I taught you did your father leave you the Word of God like that or he just kind of left you he just left you today he left you when he was nine he left you when he was fourteen he left before he was born and no man ever came to you and says now show yourself a man but most men don’t know the man is that’s why I’m here I’m here to show you how to be a man because most men don’t know the man is Davis the street yourself a man and he knew what a man look like a man who keeps the law of God keep this requirement who are painted statues who walk in his way he said David if you do that you’ll make plenty money you will live long you’ll keep your body pure you won’t take liquor slow though you we’ll keep bad company you’ll prosper the last party says and the Lord will keep his promises to me he said listen son if you’d be a man the promise that God gave you would be fulfilled in you you have a son are you talking to your son do you tell your son you love it at age 18 did your father tell you is the question defects the vision God gave you is supposed to be transferred to your son why is the mail so important let me give you the first answer number one because the mail is God’s strategy for ruling the earth that’s how important you are man you are God’s secret weapon and the devil knows it that’s why the pressures on you the devil is so afraid of man he sends him into church the devil is not afraid of women I’m telling you he don’t care I made him come to church and worship God keep the men of the darts presence because the devil knows the strategy wise man so important because the male is God’s foundation for his human family when I discovered how important I was my whole thinking changed [Music] [Music]


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