SHOULD I FORCE MYSELF TO DATE HIM? – Relationship Advice – Dating – Relationship Counseling

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how do you know if the guy that you’re seeing wants a relationship with you or if he’s just dabbling trying things out today we’re going to look at six signs that the guy you’re dating wants a relationship now the big word where we’re going to look at here is effort because plain and simple if a guy isn’t putting in the effort he really doesn’t want the relationship men put an effort towards things that matter to them but that’s an obvious answer that’s the one that you and I you know if he’s not putting in the effort cast them aside go find somebody who will but there are subtle signs that can actually give you more indications that the guy you’re dating is dabbling or isn’t sure so what I’m going to do is I’m going to break down the word effort into an acronym and there are six letters here so each letter will become a sign that can help you identify his degree of commitment and interest e stands for exclusivity guys who want a relationship aren’t shy about calling you two together what it is they want to actually put a label on it because they don’t want you to be swept off your feet by some other guy guy who wants a relationship with you once in fact the whole world to know look this is my woman we’re together f is he’s frugal with his time he’s not placing the relationship as a priority so everything becomes last-minute right some last-minute opportunity comes up and so he’s inviting you to hang out with him over here join him and his friends over here last-minute lace late night come hang out with me Netflix and chill style right it’s like you’re fitting into these last-minute slots and he’s not taking you on real dates right or he’ll text you something like I’m really missing you right now and say sweet things to you but he doesn’t back that up with action so he’s generous with his words of affection but frugal with his time the thing that we have the least of is our time so that’s where you can tell whether or not someone is making you a priority are they giving you their time because men who want to be with you time with you is not a burden time with you is a blessing the second F is friendliness or the lack thereof right a guy who is into you is going to be friendly he’s going to be consistent in his caring in his warmth with you guys who aren’t sure they tend to go hot and then cold one moment he’s showering you with appreciation and showering you with love and the next he’s kind of cold enough pudding or critical of you or he’ll even make fun of you in front of his friends you all go out and you say something and he kind of rolls his eyes and makes fun of you and he what he’s trying to do is push you away in that moment see what immature guys do is they try to act cold to you try to piss you off so that you will actually distance yourself from them giving them the space that they wanted in the first place o stands for object permanence now little babies don’t have object permanence and that means out of sight out of mind when mommy leaves mommy is gone they have no cognitive ability to remember Oh mommy’s on the other side of that door he operates the same way when you’re out of sight you’re out of mind you’re not getting texts from him you’re not getting phone calls from him you can feel the disconnect from him men who want a relationship with you connect so if it’s been more than a week and you haven’t reached out to him and he hasn’t called you and connected with you he may like you he may want to date you but he doesn’t want a relationship with you R stands for rescheduling plans now if someone has a habit of canceling plans is probably obvious to you that they’re not really into it they’re not prioritizing things but where it gets confusing is if they’re cancelling plans or rescheduling plans because of a major priority or value in their life their kids for example or their work for example one of my clients guys she was dating kept rescheduling plans because the kids the ex-wife couldn’t take care of the kids the kids needed to be taken care of and once or twice is okay she understood but what she noticed was wow this is a pattern we’ve hung out a couple times and then every time things are about to progress in the relationship all of a sudden that kids become an excuse or the work becomes an excuse that big work project becomes an excuse so if you notice that your man is constantly using important things kids work projects to reschedule plans as that relationships progressing it might just be that he’s using that value in his life as a tool to put the brakes on the progression of the relationship and the last letter in the word effort is T T stands for twisting things around you’ll have that conversation with him where you’ll ask where are things going what is this developing into and he will twist that around to try to make you feel bad about wanting to know where things are going he’ll say things like geez relax like what we have is so good just be in the moment be present and you’re gonna ruin what we have if you put all of this pressure on our current situation and so he tries to make you feel bad or you question yourself for wanting what you want for wanting a relationship and for wanting clarity now the irony here is that men who do this often they are the ones who are uptight about where things are going they’re the ones who are nervous because they haven’t decided yet they don’t even really know and so they project that onto you they twist it around they try to make you wrong so that you’ll drop it if your man is trying to twist things around no you have every right to want a clear plan and to know where things are going so there you have it six signs that you know that your man doesn’t want a relationship and I would love to hear from you what are the signs that you’ve experienced that you’ve seen when you’re dating a guy who didn’t want a relationship and then actually came true you’ve realized you know what he really doesn’t want a relationship push that in the comments section below and if you’re not subscribed to this channel take a moment click the red button become subscribe because you’re entering an amazing community of heart centered people who are all dedicated to increasing love in the world so welcome to this channel look forward to seeing you again [Music]

Comments

    Indie Toby

    (11/25/2019 - 9:20 pm)

    When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Cheers!

    Irving Rylie

    (11/30/2019 - 5:13 pm)

    Precisely why I don’t date men with kids.

    Madonna Londyn

    (11/30/2019 - 5:14 pm)

    That’s exactly what he’s doing , all the 6 signs , I think I know what I’ll do now , ..thank you , next !

    Giselle Harding

    (11/30/2019 - 5:14 pm)

    Sweet mushy texts but unavailable. So confusing.

    Lauraine Toby

    (11/30/2019 - 5:15 pm)

    Matt, on the real tho. Some dudes tell women flat out that they don’t want anything serious. The women don’t listen though. Other times they give clear signs that they are dating other women, that she is not a priority, that she is merely something to do, all that. The women don’t seem to “catch” it, OR they ignore the very clear red flags of disinterest and work hard to EARN his allegiance. We should do a video together. I got the black market, you got the white. We can slay.

    Alex Chris

    (11/30/2019 - 5:16 pm)

    Very true. All signs matched my guy and so I distant myself from him but he keeps on stalking on me now that I’ve moved on Lol. #NeverAgain

    Jerrold Gabe

    (11/30/2019 - 5:16 pm)

    I rather be alone and happy, then be in a bad relationship and miserable…

    Napier Allissa

    (11/30/2019 - 5:17 pm)

    Can you tell off the guy if he is being a jerk? I think a lot of men need to be told off. They lead you on, and than act like nothing happened. If men are going MGTOW, then women should go WGTOW. Your videos are depressing, because they are true (not your fault, you are like a big brother telling their sister that the guy is a jerk, because you want to protect her) Happy New Year to you. Unfortunately, I am the Hot and Cold, recipient and I feel bad about it. Should a woman tell the guy he hurt her? Or is it just too much showing your hand?

    Laraine Dominica

    (11/30/2019 - 5:17 pm)

    Thank you Matt. Really drives the point home who is wasting your time and who values you.

    Mimi Tory

    (11/30/2019 - 5:18 pm)

    Soo i have been listening to Matt’s message and my Ex….i mean my Ex did all if these things to me. Finally after 3 years of my time that i wasted on him i decided no more. He actually broke up with me…and you know what i am glad he did. It’s been 8 weeks of not seeing him, texting, calling or even any sort of contact; and you know i am good with this. I am happy that i don’t need all of the strife he was giving me. Now i can focus on me and my future whatever that may be.

    Giselle Allissa

    (11/30/2019 - 5:19 pm)

    Men put in EFFORT when they want you!!! Otherwise he’s just not that into you!!!

    Madonna Harding

    (11/30/2019 - 5:19 pm)

    Red flags all over the place …. I was silly. He said I don’t have time, last minute plans. When I did call him out he got angry. But hey I won’t date an emotionally unavailable man again . He schooled me well

    Imogen Caelan

    (11/30/2019 - 5:20 pm)

    “He may like you or he may date you. But he doesn’t want a relationship with you.” Dang! So true, Mat.

    Madonna Brody

    (11/30/2019 - 5:21 pm)

    These men hang around for years

    Indie Rylie

    (11/30/2019 - 5:21 pm)

    Oh Mathew… I met this guy and he wasn’t meeting the acronyms at all so I let him go, then he came back and insisted on seeing me and now most of the acronyms now actually work in my favor but one of two of them don’t really because it’s very fresh. We haven’t talked in a few days…. But then I’ve watched other videos of yours where you give advice on how to do this and that and now I don’t know whether to let it go for good or if I should “make him miss me” which you broke down in another video a little while ago. Why are men so complicated?

    Jeremy Rylie

    (11/30/2019 - 5:22 pm)

    “Let’s see where things go” he doesn’t like you. Move on

    Giselle Dominica

    (11/30/2019 - 5:22 pm)

    Better marry yourself. You never get a headache! Period! Lol

    Esta Brody

    (11/30/2019 - 5:23 pm)

    Guess this answers my question. Of course, I knew all along that he didn’t want a committed relationship.

    Jeremy Rylie

    (11/30/2019 - 5:24 pm)

    Men sweat for 3 hours in a gym, that’s a hard work, and he cannot text you a message that takes a few seconds of his time? DROP HIM!

    Giselle Rylie

    (11/30/2019 - 5:24 pm)

    Oh man! Twisting things around is so true!

    Lauraine Londyn

    (11/30/2019 - 5:25 pm)

    OMG, so on target. The guy I was dating a while ago–I would email him and ask if he wanted to do anything that weekend, and he actually emailed me back “well, if nothing better comes up”! When I ended the relationship becasue I finally had the courage to say I wanted to head towards marriage, and he obviously didn’t, he sent me the meanest, nastiest email making the breakup all my fault, and included such gems as “how do you know I might not have wanted to get married in a year?” (after telling me he thought he’d never marry again) and telling me he hadn’t been ready to break up with me quite yet. Yes, pissed becasue I did it before him!! What a gem–not.

    Imogen Allissa

    (12/02/2019 - 6:25 am)

    Hey there! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new apple iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the great work!

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