Wednesday, 17 July 2019
Single dad going on a date asks daughters for fashion advice | Purple Mr
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and so in relationships with with partners I think if you’re with someone who’s feeling that sensitivity you might just I think sometimes what partners don’t get in and understand is empaths they don’t just feel they’re constantly not all of them but the vast majority I meet they’re constantly thinking they’re constantly in this how can I make this easier for a person like they’re constantly really thinking about their partner like super considerate about oh I know my partner really likes this and this kind of a way so they’re thinking about how to make it easier or receiving what’s going on with their partner right field right and they’re like they’re just able to show up and like be there and do cool stuff and then they get they feel really put out and put off by other people don’t do the same like how come the person didn’t know that I wouldn’t like this how come they’re being so insensitive to me and it’s like because you have an inherent gift and ability you are doing some level of intuition crossing into psychic or medium ship awareness and most people aren’t open to that so they have they’re not used to communicating verbally like really expressing their needs they might have been unless or they get labeled as drama queens when they do like oh my god you’re being dramatic again but that’s because they’re just so used to taking on so much information and not being able to express it safely so I would say to people who have empathic or sensitive partners to start building a healthy way like of having that person express their needs to you and like it doesn’t have to be like a level 10 fight all the time but just like oh like are you happy right now because you might not be noticing or aware of what your partner is going through and having them get in touch with how they feel as opposed to how everybody else is feeling because it’s kind of and this is like the rub with when I was talking about oh well people really love me if I can’t fix them and everyone needs me it’s like it’s really easier I don’t have to deal with my pain if I’m dealing with your pain then I’m distracted then it’s like oh I’m just so overwhelmed with all of your steps and I don’t have to do my step so as a partner really helping a person just be real like hey what’s going on what do you want to do how does that make you feel it sounds really cheesy but it’s like real verbal not like psychic communication because we all think we’re communicating in some kind of a way but like really just saying oh well and then not just going into the same old stories the negative step really helping a person think about well what do you want to feel instead what would you really like to do so more asking them questions where they’re really getting in touch with their own feelings and their own frustrations and you don’t necessarily have to fix it as a partner and I know you might feel like you’re hearing their frustrations if they’re complaining about things but you probably aren’t you’re probably hearing the surface level stuff yep not the deep stuff of well what’s really going on with this you’ve been saying it sounds like you’re unhappy what is it that you would really like to do like perfect world perfect scenario and just having someone or when you have a sounding board or someone here listened to you and you can hear yourself like somebody’s open that’s it those are the magic words holding the space for a person so let’s talk about what holding space is yes so powerful just authentically holding the space when I started learning about holding the space it was kind of like I took it to a place where again it’s my responsibility holding the space is more about your just present with a person you’re just listening to them you’re just and we hear it all the time like don’t be thinking about what you’re gonna say or like oh my god I roll like just witness them witness them in their entirety that’s all they need and most of the time people will figure their out on their own yeah if you just shut up just know that right right and like also asking questions to to like and again they’re really simple questions like oh well that’s interesting like how does that make you feel and like wow what are you gonna do what do you think you want to do with that and then just being supportive and I know it’s hard if people feel like no this Way’s best or people want to try to fix people they want to just jump in there and do whatever but you don’t really when you start going into fix-it mode you’re not really present with a person you’re not really understanding thank you the deeper pain or the deeper issue there’s something deeper than what they’re saying to you nine times out of ten so if you can just get them talking and hold the space and there’s something that happens where when you’re really in the space and present with a person as a listener you start feeling this presence and get a healing – it’s like so weird so this is where impasse out there the space that you hold is your own actually you just witness the person and you just hold your own space like wow I’m really believing in this person I’m just gonna be here and they’re gonna be able to figure their out and we’re strong in this together like they don’t need me it’s like I just have to be here and be that’s all they need from you and it’s so interesting it’s so simple so powerful and you will start the people who aren’t in the highest and the best who want to stay stuck who are kind of if they’re narcissistic or on their path they will deselect themselves so you don’t have to have the hard talk or whatever the right kind of like you’ve changed you’ve changed I’m out of here and you’re like that was amazing you don’t have to effort right and then simultaneously suddenly these new people will come into your life and the the best people for empaths if you aren’t used to like healthy relationships they’re going to feel weird so some of the closest people in my life when I first met them it was like oh my god they don’t like me which was a reflection they were so strong in their power and centered in their truth I didn’t have any of my that I couldn’t like my empathy that parts of me that were so used to oh let’s go into the old store and it wasn’t there there was nothing to hook into or connect with it was just new and my brain treated new as oh it’s not a fit and now not a problem like now it’s so great I’m like oh this is old patterns and this is the energy I want to be in but that’s where I had to rely on being super present and in the moment not in my past not thinking in my head but like what are these person’s actions really what are they saying is that matching up to what they’re doing and it was again little baby steps I was like oh my god they just like me like that was ridiculously easy it’s like we can just hang and do stuff and like oh god like you’re calling me I didn’t have to like hunt you down horse documentation and I’m sure they like that feeling of being seen right that’s that’s a very powerful experience it is and I had to be okay with being seen you know and even now today it’s a my comes up are still around being seen it’s like it’s it’s so funny because you think you’re you’ve clear cleared something or you dealt with something and then here’s this magical opportunity and you’re like what’s happening but again that’s the power of if you’re super sensitive and an empath the minute that you get clear on man I want to do this those people those opportunities will show up like that it’s like it’s not the same as other people not that you don’t have to work hard that’s not what I’m saying is you still have to take you have to keep showing up and show up consistently but you don’t have to work as hard other people things will just start flowing in your direction because you will feel it and your body just naturally pulls you and there’s less force yeah it’s more you move into a pole vibration right and that’s a part of holding your own space where if you can connect with authentically this is what I want to do this is what I want to feel like those right people those right situations will show up even when you feel like you’re not ready a lot of these fights if it’s a healthy solid relationship but these things start coming up a lot of like the fights or the discomfort is coming from a person is growing and they just got afraid and that person stepped into a space felt their energy was like I was sure let me distract you because that’s what your soul or you’re not your soul but you’re humans calling out this old story that we need to play and then there’s also the opposite that the part the other person feels that their partner is growing too quickly right and they feel like they’re gonna get left behind and there’s a panic there and they start pulling in the drama story that’s another common one getting chills on that I want to give people a technique a practical technique for holding space and going back to the couple’s meditation a partner meditation so one of the easiest ways to meditate is to feel because it’s difficult to think and feel at the same time and so there’s there’s a practice a lot of times people talk about feel your body Eckhart Tolle goes into this a lot like fill your body but still the mind gets bored with that I don’t want to feel my body the dialogue starts coming back but if you’re feeling someone else’s body if your mind starts thinking and you put your attention and your focus back on just feeling them you sink below the analytical mind and you’re just present and then you’re holding space so if you’re if you’re wanting to hold space for someone just touch them in a non-sexual space on their body and just feel notice since and feel them and if your mind starts thinking or you start getting pulled go back to just feeling and then you’re immediately holding presence for that person that’s amazing chills on that yeah that’s really really great I want it I want to go into that for a second yes go sex and relationships one of the most difficult things for me and then I want to go into some real whoo one of the most difficult things for me growing up was romantic relationships and sex uh-huh because I could sense how disconnected people’s hearts were from their sexual space right and it made me feel super uncomfortable and I didn’t know why I just felt something is off here I can’t enter that space right and so I was made fun of I was ostracized from my peers because I couldn’t go around just sleeping with everyone right and I didn’t I thought something was wrong with me right it wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s so I realized what was really going on but there’s such a disconnect between the heart and the sexual energies on this planet right and that goes back to like something negative or bad and like this ego versus good like we need all parts aggression integration and it’s not it’s becoming more popular now but that’s like new like that’s still because of our society and our laws and the patriarchal stuff it’s very true where women are shamed and like men are as well for their sexuality it’s like no disconnect and it’s like that’s just what you do and it’s not a shitty part yeah yeah it’s like it’s total like men or not and it’s changing now thank goodness slowly but surely but it’s kind of like men are shamed for embracing their heart space that divine feminine space within them and like receiving so it’s like I kind of in my behavior was more masculine like I just need to achieve like everything else I need you to be achieve and be the best that I can be and like and I still wasn’t happy so absolutely very very important and I in and this is the thing about romantic relationships and sex too like we start attracting our mirrors which is uncomfortable for people so when people say oh my ex is a narcissist or my current person is a narcissist it’s not that you also are a narcissist it’s just there’s some sort of reflection where they’re reflecting back some part of you that’s like yeah I deserve to be treated this way [Music]